I know that I may appear to make light of all this, but in all honesty, I am scared and I am upset as well. All that hard effort and now to be back further than square one.
This web site, my apparent ambivalent attitude to what's happening and what others refer to as my 'constant good humour' are the only ways that I know how to deal with this trauma. I have to keep plugging away at it. I can't afford to say 'Oh sod it, it's not worth it'.
The reason to many may seem trite and silly, but I want to walk my dogs again. I now have three Border Collies (Sheep dogs). My dogs were one of the reasons that I moved to the countryside. I have woods and fields at the end of my road, 4 houses away. I haven't been into those woods or fields for 21 months now, nor have I even been able to walk my dogs. I have missed my puppy Chishii growing up, he was only 8 months old when I had my accident. I have been unable to complete Shunka's training and he was going to be a working sheepdog at a local farm. I haven't been able to throw a stick for Flug to fetch back for me to throw again and again, something that she adored.
Sod worrying about going back to work, any fool can do that, but I AM going to walk my dogs again. Even If I limp, or I need a stick I WILL take them for those walks we enjoyed. I'm just going to have to wait a while longer. It's been 21 months so far. I didn't think I'd make that but I have. So bring on the next 21 months - I'll make that as well and, if necessary another 21 after that!